Living the Dream Acting

Kevin Pollak's Chat Show ...an amalgamation of random celebrity impressions; "Tweet 5s"; "Ask (or Ass) Kevins"; "Who Tweeted?"; Faux Buffering; and "The Larry King Game". Kevin Pollak , best known for his stand up comedy and extensive film career, first came on the celebrity scene with his role as Todd Hockney in The Usual Suspects , also starring Kevin Spacey , Benicio Del Toro , Stephen Baldwin , Gabriel Byrne , and Chazz Palminteri . One of his newest ventures is Kevin Pollak's Chat Show , an interactive video podcast. "We're just not ready," is Kevin's unofficial opening theme. A fitting description for the prevailing atmosphere of the show, one purposefully lacking in the pursuit of fomulaic perfection and filled instead with humor and a let's-keep-the-show-going-no-matter-what rhythm. The show features fascinating, in depth conversations with celebrated performers about art, the business, and the journey that...

Some days ago, my 4 year old son asked me if I'd ever been on TV before. I looked at him, and before I could respond, the Voice of Negativity in my head began its rant with responses like - "you were only in the background of that commercial; it was just a student film; you only made $40 that one time; you haven't done anything that anyone's ever seen so none of it REALLY counts!!!" At this point, I took a couple of deep breaths, reigned in the Negativity, and simply said, yes that I had been on TV a couple of times. Then my son said, "I wish I could see you on TV Mommy.", and I replied, 'Well, Mommy's working on that."

I am really interested in the ways artists "give back" to their communities. I think the payoff is cyclical. Many artists have been known to vacillate between narcissism and debilitating insecurity. When we put others first, it can center and ground us. Our focus shifts from competition, commerce, and presentation of the self to the joy, well being, and inspiration of others. This past year, I became involved in BookPALS: Performing Artists for Literacy in Schools . It was founded by the non-profit Screen Actors Guild Foundation. This is a great way to get started, and you don't have to be a member of SAG to volunteer. Artists are needed for reading stories in the classroom, recording stories on community phone lines, and writing letters to students through programs like PencilPALS. To find out more, go to: www.storylineonline.net www.bookpals.net www.sag.org - (go to the Divisions and Branches drop down list to locate your area and get more information) I taught ...

I spent my last night in Hollywood with my friend Anat and her new room mate Ariel. Ariel is a musician in his early 20's who is also beginning his artistic adventures in L.A. The three of us sat outside the apartment building eating dinner by the pool. We had a few glasses of wine, great conversation, and watched as the colorful characters from the building came and went. "Freaks" by middle America's standards - bald women, pink haired men in drag, and I think they weren't used to anyone sitting by the pool enjoying a meal. As they walked by, some of them made jokes about crashing our party and seemed surprised when we invited them to join us. None of them took us up on the invite, but they seemed to appreciate the opening. The rest of the evening was spent talking about art, perfection, and the question - when is the right time to put our work "out there". At one point in the conversation, my teacher/mother hat went on. I was concerned that these two...

At least the beach had some nice views:

L.A. has many nicknames. One that I heard recently and that continues to stand out in my mind is the "City of Lost Souls". After the insanity of the long drive to L.A. on Friday night, Saturday was turning out much better. I slept in, took a long relaxing shower, took a walk down to Hollywood Boulevard from my friend's apartment, and enjoyed a relaxing breakfast at a quiet restaurant. After breakfast I met my friend and we decided to spend some time at the beach. We drove down to Santa Monica and enjoyed a beautiful day by the water. This is what I love about California - the Ocean. We left the beach, decided to cook a nice dinner, and stopped back at the house to change, before heading to the store. As we climbed the steps into my friend's building, we noticed two people sitting in the corner of the dirt parking lot next door. They were somewhat hidden but their conversation was fairly loud. We entered the apartment, and my friend's roommate shared that for t...

I'm just about to leave Phoenix for my trip to L.A. The mission of the trip - to help a friend move. Boxes check. Suitcase check. Water check. Road food check. Gas check...okay, time to leave, one more stop at the bank and we're out of here. Suddenly no air conditioning. Its 108 degrees outside!! We drive to the bank before we can head out of town, crossing our fingers that the air conditioner in my '97 Ford Ranger pickup is just experiencing a glitch. Bank...longest line in the history of the world! Wait, wait, and wait some more......Finally! Head out to the truck ready to go, still no air...did I mention its 108 degrees outside!! and did I mention its a Friday afternoon, and I'm exhausted from the work week, and a bit hormonal, and we're pulling a trailer so we can only go 55 mph max in a 75 mph zone? 108 degrees!!! and nothing I can do about it. 108 degrees for 9 hours.....

In my last entry I promised I would write about my "adventures" on my trip to Hollywood, then as often happens with me, life got in the way of Art. This is when the Single Mom Me and her challenges, gets in the way of the Artist Me and her desires. I've been reluctant to spend too much time talking about this part of my life. I wanted to keep the Artist Me out front as much as possible for the sake of this blog, and for the sake of my career. And as I write this, it occurs to me that there might be someone else out there having the same struggles I am as a Mother and Artist. This endeavor is also about creating community, and because of that I realize I should absolutely share. Sharing may not solve all of our problems, but at least we won't feel alone anymore on the journey. So the short answer is that my son goes to his Dad's house two weekends a month, and this is the time I'm able to recuperate and create. This month my ex went on a trip and I had my son...

What's the point of Acting? - Part 1 I've struggled with this question over the years. Is acting, as a job, a worthwhile endeavor? I'm not talking about whether it's "smart", or is it going to make me money, or am I ever going to be recognized. I'm just talking about whether or not it's an honorable life pursuit, or just frivolity. I would look at other professionals like nurses, priests, social workers and think - "How can acting be just as valuable as what those people are doing?" Believe it or not, the answer finally came to me about 4 months ago. It wasn't so much a yes or no answer as it was an - Absolutely!! and here's why - kind of revelation. This year I had a chance to attend Comicon, and the best part of the whole experience was when I met James Marsters . James is best known for his portrayal of Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer , as well as his work on Caprica , Smallville and the pilot for the new Hawaii Five O .   Wi...

Hi Readers! I've been on a Hollywood Hiatus! I spent the Labor Day holiday in Los Angeles and I have insights, inspirations, and crazy happenings to share. Stay tuned, lots to share and more Good Finds coming. What about you? What inspirations do you have to share? How's the creativity going? Leave a comment and let us all know. The more we help each other, the more we help ourselves. Look forward to hearing from you! In the mean time, check out this site - www.hollywoodsign.org .

Emmy's, Oscars, Tony's: Award show fun, and the spoils of years of hard work for those in attendance. A time for Artists to gather, appreciate and honor one another's creations, and dress up in really expensive outfits. Gotta love it! Anyone up for creating an original music video? Break out your iPod with the built in camera and go to work. Enjoy!

I haven't even seen this movie yet, but I have it Saved in my Netflix settings. All I can say is that just watching the trailer, I started sobbing. Thank you, thank you, thank you Pamela T. Boll for making this film! www.Whodoesshethinksheis.net

Part of the whole struggle of being an artist whose not already Tom Cruise is trying to pay the bills. Last year, I was one of the people who suffered through the unemployment crisis. I was a newly single mother and suddenly also found myself without a job - for 12 months. That was the most difficult time of my life. I had to seek help from organizations I never thought I would need. I lost my car, I had to visit a Food Bank, and if it weren't for the support of my family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, I might have lost my apartment and my mind as well. I know that despite the stress, struggle, tears, and additional grey hairs, that I was still blessed because it could have been much worse and still is for others in our country and around the world. Now for me, that time has passed and I've been really lucky this year. Not only did I finally find a day job - or perhaps it found me - but I found a position in an office where they cl...

One of my favorite singer/song writers from the 80's Suzanne Vega was featured in an episode of The Record on NPR last week. The broadcast focused on women in music who are using social media to self-promote and take control of their careers. Many of these artists are finding that in a business world full of rejection, the internet is one way they can reach fans, expand their opportunities, and share their artistic voice without "permission" from someone else. I'm sure my parallel point to actors is not lost here. What do you have to give? And what are you waiting for? If you're waiting for permission, I'm giving it to you right now. You have this desire because you're meant to use it in the world. The word desire comes "from the Latin desiderare 'long for, wish for,' ... from the phrase de sidere   'from the stars,'." ( Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper ) The desire itself IS your permission, a Ca...

Wow! I had an appointment with my acting coach and all I can say is - Wow! There is sooo much that I have to learn and it scares me...and excites me. As I've discussed before, I have a Bachelor's degree in Theatre and have been performing semi-professionally for years. But at this point, I feel like a baby just starting out again. Today's lesson was a wake up call for me. This is not going to be easy. Its hard work, and I'm not even talking about the business of acting - headshots, agents, reels, casting directors, resumes, creating relationships aka networking. I'm just talking about "doing the work". I think when we're young and we first discover theatre, we fall in love with the social aspect, and the kudos from our family and friends. And because they're called Plays, we somehow expect it to be all fun all the time. But its work. That's why so many actors use the phrase "focus on the work". As I've heard many times on the ...

As I shared in the last post, I and others are encouraging actors to create our own work. A great example of this is the actress Felicia Day and her web based series The Guild . Felicia was best known for her stint on Buffy the Vampire Slayer as one of the "potential Slayers" in Season 7. In an article on Fast Company.com by Ari Karpel, Felicia talks about her web based series The Guild , and how it started as a home based Youtube creation. Four seasons later, the series has garnered a huge following and has led to her current deal with Microsoft that allows her to maintain creative control of her work. Felicia also discusses the importance of using the internet to find and create your own niche. Check out the article at FastCompany.com, and watch the video below. Enjoy! and Create! Create! Create! www.FeliciaDay.com

Hi! Today I want to talk to you about two podcasts in my Good Finds section. First up is Everything Acting Podcast . I love these two ladies out of NYC -Roz Coleman and Darbi Worley. They are two working actresses past 30 who share their day to day experiences; interview other working actors, agents, casting directors, directors, and writers; and answer listener questions. They are funny, compassionate, encouraging and knowledgeable. And if they don't know the answer, they ask an expert. I especially love Darbi's story of wanting to be an actor all her life and doing everything but until she had an epiphany at age 37. She was watching the Oscars one day and started sobbing, realizing she had been denying herself a dream. So she did it. Its never too late. Next up is Inside Acting Podcast . This podcast is hosted by two young guys in L.A. - Trevor Algatt and A.J. Meijer who are at the start of their careers. They both have theatre backgrounds and are trying to navigate the...

My high school stage!

So, here's a little about my background. I have my Bachelor's Degree in Theatre, but like many actors, it all began when I was very young - as early as 4 or 5. My earliest performance venue was my mother's kitchen. I would write, produce, direct, and star in all of my productions. I took it very seriously, many times reworking the productions until they were just right. I would get my younger sister to perform with me and she would willingly - most of the time. As I got a little older, my theatrical experience involved church choir productions, and I also began to study dance, piano, and then later drums in junior high marching band - somewhere in between I spent a little time playing clarinet but that didn't last long. The idea of performing as a profession didn't come till I was in high school. Camelot - I'll never forget that time. The power of the story, the sense of belonging, the emotional catharsis, and after applause High were unlike anything I had...

I've listed a section on the right entitled Good Finds. This will be an ongoing list of things that inspire me and keep me going. This video is one of them. Enjoy! HAMLET ON THE STREET - Monologue by Craig Bazan in Camden NJ This is what its all about! Go Craig!!

Hi! Welcome! I am a 38 year old actress and single mom, starting a new path in the business of acting. As if being a single mom wasn't hard enough, I'm now trying to dive into life in front of the camera at an age that many still believe is past the prime and not worth the time. I disagree. I'll admit that I'm scared and I sometimes get depressed and overwhelmed when I get bogged down by the day to day grind of working a full time "day job" and raising a 4 year old son - and not having a "gig" at the moment. But I know I can do it, and I know there are others of you out there who dream of having an artistic life as well. I've started this blog to inspire others with my journey, and be inspired by those of you fighting the good fight on the Actor's path. I'll be sharing my ups and downs, insights, tips, links, and good finds. I hope you will share yours with me as well. I'll tell you a little more about my background as an actor in the...

 

I'm grateful for: Unexpected detours Loving a place at first sight Joys in the park Hoola hoops, music, old beautiful buildings, and luscious dessert. 

For an entire year, I was lost in the search for reason. Why was I suffering? Why did these things happen to me? What did I do wrong? I know now that is a futile path. Reason will not get me out of the "abyss", only acceptance, forgiveness, and moving forward.

Tell me what you're grateful for...